You know you’re a Western Planner when…
Your Planning Department is less than 3 people; including 1 who is also the Building Inspector or Town Engineer.
Skies, wood pallets, & corrugated metal sheets are common fencing material.
“Game Processing” is a commonly requested home occupation.
Your ordinances are older than your first car.
On this day in 30 years ago, your plan was last opened.
60 acres is a small lot.
Your downtown is a “Town Square”.
Your community: has more than (3) community festivals per year.
Your community: has an eco-tourism or outdoor adventure business as a main employer.
Your community: has the National Park Service (NPS) or (BLM) as a main employer.
Your community: has a mining company as a main employer.
Your community: is surrounded by National Forest.
Your community: is not accessed/served by an Interstate Highway.
Your community: has at least (1) historic landmark within its planning boundaries.
Your elevation may be higher than your population
Plan may be considered a “four-letter” word
Whiskey is for drinkin, and water is for fighting
Hunting, fishing, camping and rafting are things you do for fun
Meetings are scheduled around hunting and fishing season
The town Christmas Tree is a large sagebrush with lights
The Easter Bunny looks like a jackalope
Yes, there actually is at least one Chinese restaurant in town
Meetings are scheduled around harvest season
Meetings are scheduled around haying season
Your first question to any developer is “do you have water?”
Your second question to any developer is “can you get septic?”
Your office regularly distributes information regarding Open Range Law
Your largest employer manufactures firearms and/or accessories
When you notify a new property owner that there isn’t any fire protection provided and you’re met with a blank stare
CC&R’s are a nice idea but totally useless
Your town holds an annual “All-class Reunion” because it’s so small
“Surely planning has a regulation that says the ditch company can’t just rip up the decorative footbridge I built over that ‘creek’ behind my house? Someone said it was a ditch.”
Translation: I spent three weeks on Pinterest to tell someone how to build that thing. Please protect it with the full force of the government.“What is all this fire and smoke every Spring and Fall from that little “creek” behind my house? Some guy said he was ‘cleaning out a ditch.’ They can’t do that so close to my home, right?”
Translation: I thought the wildfire apocalypse had started, but apparently it’s just maintenance.You’ve said: “Alright, I’m taking lunch, and all calls, from the ‘White Room’ (also known as the ski slope or pass) for the rest of the day.”
Translation: Yes, I can answer your zoning question… right after I take some turns on this morning’s powder.A common complaint: “DOT or the ski area is violating the noise ordinance with avalanche mitigation in the early morning.
Translation: Nothing like a 6 a.m. TNT or howitzer blast to remind you that, yes, you did move to the mountains.“People keep hitting me with skis or poles on your Town’s transit system.”
Translation: Congratulations, you’re now an involuntary participant in sitting next to a child with unruly skis, trying also to play Minecraft.Being late to work because you were skiing the powder is a valid excuse.
The owner/manager of the one motel in town is also the town Sheriff.
Everyone in town has backyard chickens.
It’s considered rude not to give a friendly wave to oncoming traffic.
You have at least one set of antlers on your office wall.
Your keep a fly rod in your office.
Your coworkers share hunting/fishing pictures like some people share pictures of grandchildren.
You dread code enforcement because you went to high school with the violator’s parents or sibling. Or the violator IS one of your parents or siblings…
At least one member of your County Commission is a rancher.
There is at least one prairie dog town within five miles of your office.
Junk cars are used as directional landmarks in your area.
Deeds are still recorded in your County Clerks' office that locate property by who lived next door in 1910.
Your planning commission is always at least one member short during harvest time.
The percentage of the population in your jurisdiction who know the current zoning of their property is smaller than the percentage who voted in the last election.
The cowboys in your county aren't urban and never saw the movie.
A portion of the time of every public meeting is devoted to a discussion of the behavior of livestock.
The best restaurant in your town features more work from your local taxidermist than your local artist.
People still ask “Our County has Zoning?”
It’s a Mobile Home why do I need a Building Permit
It’s a Temporary Use it should be gone in 10 years
Planning & Zoning members have to schedule hearing around calving season.
What is a CUP and what do you mean I need one!
The guy who has a horse in his backyard on a 6000sf residential lot says, "Why can't I have my horse on my property? I own a ranch house."
Its duck hunting season, and residents ask, "Can I shoot the ducks on the fishing pond at the town park? No? What if I don't use a shotgun?"
You’ve seen legal descriptions for a property boundary that follow “the edge of the cultivated field” or “westerly along the fence line to the oak tree, thence northerly to the irrigation ditch.”
You measure travel in hours, not miles.
80 MPH speed limits actually make sense.
You need federal permission to fix a water line.
You need tribal permission to fix a water line.
It's really important to know if a road was used before 1976 or not.
You can set your watch by the booms and busts.
You'd better not be the only person in the meeting without a cowboy had on.
You still receive mail by mule train.
The City Clerk is also the Code Enforcement Specialist, the Accounting Department, the HR Department, the Council meeting record keeper and the local dog catcher?
You’re excited instead of annoyed when it’s a “Snow Day!”
You routinely have to stop for wild turkey/elk/moose/bear/javelina/wild horse/deer crossings on your way to work in the morning.
Every community meeting people want a solution to “the in-migration of Californians.”
Every community meeting people want a solution to the cost of local housing.
Every community meeting people want a solution for higher wages and better jobs for their kids so they’ll come home.
People always vote yes on a parks, open space and trails levy.
You are weathered in a remote community for days sleeping above the tribal bingo hall with a client you just met in person for the first time and listening for plane engines through the fog…
Your reconnaissance/assessment phase finds you at a world class, fly-in fishing lodge with a group of casino operators playing poker and dancing into the night to “wagon wheel” by Old Crow Medicine Band
There are no vegan or vegetarian options within a 45-minute drive
Your meeting is translated into Yupik and begins and ends with a traditional dance and drumming.
You helped the local airport crew pull out the old school hand-cranking de-icer t de-ice the plane before you made a 3-hour flight across open water with no bathroom.
You looked out your window the morning of your community meeting to be greeted by the local polar bear.
Your colleague picked you up from the airport and took you straight to go reindeer hunting…and you were successful.
When your public meeting gets interrupted by an elk, moose, or mule deer peering through the window.
Conducting a final subdivision inspection while a herd of elk casually grazes in the proposed cul-de-sac.
A resident opposes a new road, not because of traffic, but because it cuts across their secret backcountry ski skin track or summer trail.
Powder day? Expect zero turnout at your public hearing.
Fielding the very real question: “But have you asked the moose what it thinks about this trail realignment?”
Public hearings about subdivisions turn into heated debates about who gets “first rights” to the ditch water.
You schedule a groundbreaking in May and end up with either a blizzard or 100-degree heat. No in-between.
Every plan, no matter how urban, has to answer: “But where will we park the horse trailers during rodeo season?”